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by Gelene Peñalosa
If you spend most of your time online and on social media, you must have heard of the concept of “love languages.”
In a nutshell, the five love languages are the different ways you express and communicate your love to your partner or significant other. This concept of was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
According to Chapman, the five love languages are:
Although originally established for intimate relationships, knowing someone’s specific love language can deepen your relationship and bond with that person no matter what your relationship is. Same goes with your family.
Identifying and speaking the five love languages to your family can deepen your relationship with them. This is a good way to promote harmony and understanding between you and your parents, siblings, or even your own kids. It also gives you a glimpse of their emotions, feelings, or needs in any given situation.
Here are some ways you can address your family’s love languages:
If their love language is Words of Affirmation:
Compliment or praise their works and achievements, Phrases like “thank you for your hard work,” “I’m proud of you,” or “I love your work” can uplift them and motivate them to do better. Insults, on the other hand, can greatly upset them, ruin their mood, or discourage them.
If their love language is Quality Time:
Spend time with them and give them your full and undivided attention. Make an effort to do things together, whether it’s a Sunday movie marathon, a cookfest, or quick catchup with a cup of coffee, quality time together will make them feel important and very much loved. It doesn’t count, however, if you’re in a room together, but you’re always on your phone and not really present.
If their love language is Acts of Service
Doing their chores for them or doing things without being asked to can instantly make their day. This is especially true for your parents. Helping out at home, making their lives easier by cleaning up for yourself, offering to run errands for them, will greatly boost their mood and make them feel appreciated.
If their love language is Gift-giving
Showering them with gifts can make them feel special and loved. But it doesn’t mean they’re spoiled or materialistic. It’s the thought that counts with them. They love it when you remember them on special day and make an effort to make them smile. Plus points if you get them things they really like!
If their love language is Physical Touch
It means they’re very affectionate and love to be held. Constantly giving them hugs or holding their hands can go a very long way. Simple physical gestures like a pat on the back or an arm on a shoulder can make them feel happy, safe, and taken care of. They may seem a little clingy, and that’s okay. That’s just how they show their love.
It’s important to learn and be fluent in “speaking” your loved ones love languages. If you’re still unsure as to what exactly makes them feel loved, you can observe how they show love to others AND what makes them upset. With practice you’re sure to have a closer and more loving relationship with your family!
Gelene Peñalosa is a Content and Engagement Writer Intern from De La Salle University-Manila, with International Studies – European Studies as her degree. She has a penchant for any kind of coffee, drinking at least 2 cups each day, and an interest in international relations, history, and culture. She also has a taste for fashion, beauty, KPop, and makes Youtube videos in her free time.