10 Moves for a More Confident You

Need a confidence boost? You don’t need a switch to turn it on. Be confident like the best of them by adapting these traits. Because, in case you’ve forgotten, you can do anything you set your mind to!

by Marella Castro

little confidence can get you places.

Life can be like one big popularity contest, where popular people get what they want and those outside the A-team don’t. The bad news is: it’s high school all over again! The good news is: you’re an adult! You don’t have to stay stuck in the past. Many achievements are made not from beauty, brains, or brawn but out of sheer confidence in oneself. If something pays off, it’s because people gave it a shot.  You can, too!

1. Accept Your Flaws
Acceptance is the first step to be truly confident. Coming to terms with who you are will make you stronger. You are not perfect, but neither is everybody else. Even those who already achieved the things you aspire for. The only thing keeping you from attaining what they have is yourself. 

2. Exercise Emotional Control
Confident people are not easily offended. They maintain their composure because they know that no one can make them feel inferior without their consent. You are who you choose to be, not what people say about you.  

3. Take Hold of Your Fear 
You can’t go on ignoring your fears. It will manifest in ways that will have a real effect on your life. Stop being scared or frustrated or anxious for no reason. Have an honest dialogue with yourself. Are you afraid of being alone, of doing something completely different, or of starting anew? Find out where all your anxiety is coming from before it takes over your life. 

4. Attract Others with Your Openness 
Your body language could communicate confidence more than words. By assuming a more open, engaging stance, you can instantly make people feel at ease when being around you. Make eye contact, keep your arms apart, and, more importantly, smile!

5. Concentrate on Your Own Development 
Comparing yourself to others is limiting and unproductive. Other people are running a different race, with their own set of strengths, weaknesses, and hurdles. Confident people focus on self-improvement instead of wasting energy on jealousy or putting other people down. 

6. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
Confident people know their worth. When people say “no” to you, don’t take it as an attack. It is not a reflection of your value as a person, but simply of not fitting into other people’s plans. 

7. Be a Work in Progress
Ask for help. Make mistakes. Own them. Thank the people who have proven you wrong in an argument because finding out what is right is more important than being right. Never stop learning, and know that nothing is ever final as long as you are alive.

8. Focus on What You CAN Change
There are a lot of things that are beyond your control: who your parents are, bad weather, fluctuating market prices, the traffic situation… Work on what you can change and don’t dwell on what you can’t. Your reaction to situations, eating healthier, exercising more to feel better about the way you look, or even reading up on subjects you don’t know much about—these are all things within your control and things that can give you a confidence boost. Uplift your worldview by being more proactive, rather than reactive, in your thoughts and actions. 

9. Take Charge of Your Own Happiness 

True confidence comes from internal validation. Learn how to love yourself, and you won’t have to wait for other people’s approval or validation. You know better than anyone how to dance to your own beat. 

10. Go for It 
Why is it that confident people seem unfazed by life’s difficulties? They are sure of themselves. They don’t hesitate. They take action. It’s not that they aren’t afraid—they are, too—but they’re more scared of regret than they are of making mistakes.